Cankles

Yes, my calfs and ankles are the same width leaving me with the infamous cankles. My feet are so freaking fat that my flip-flops leave indents.

I'm 40 weeks pregnant and I'm freaking DONE. I want this baby out NOW. Most of you who know me would agree that I am not the most patient person at the best of times and everyone knows that I'm a planner. This pregnancy thing is really trying on my patience.

I know, technically, baby isn't due until tomorrow. Well that is according to my doctors piece of paper wheel thing that magically calculates your due date based on your last period and an "average" cycle of 28 days... Whereas I on the other hand, despite not having a PhD, happen to know that my due date was April 22nd. How do I know this? I know when my baby was conceived.

And please folks, save me all the nonsense about baby coming when she is ready, the statistics about due date innacuracies and all other comments that only serve to frustrate me further.

Kyle and I have been walking for miles everyday, I've been eating pineapples and spicy foods, and I spend hours at night bouncing on the stupid birthing ball trying to get this baby out but NOTHING is happening. No need to suggest castor oil either... that's not happening.

So here is a letter to my daughter.

Dear Baby - this is your mother. Please accept this notice of eviction. Your mother is uncomfortably huge and irritable. There is so much more room out here in the world for you to move around in. Your clothes are all washed and put away in your new bedroom and your basinette is set up beside mom's bed with fluffy pink blankets. Dad is anxious to meet you and so are Gus-Gus and Roxy. It's time now, so please, get the hell out. Love mom.

I don't feel like posting the weekly updates anymore. This weeks wasn't even a picture of a fetus in a belly, it was a fricking newborn. So anyhow, incase you can't tell... i'm bitchy today. I think I'll have a nap and maybe wake up in a better mood. And when she finally does make an appearance, I'll be sure to put up some pics for you guys!

~Preggo